Part 2: How to Get Married After Age 50

I got married after age 50, and so can you. However, as discussed in Part 1, you must make the decision that you really want to get married. Then you must spread the word that you want to get married through your friends, family and social network. And then de-clutter your life. Get rid of frivolous people, worthless friendships and needy family members who take up your time and energy. Here in Part 2 of How to Get Married After Age 50, we explore other necessary steps to achieve your goal of marital bliss.

No. 4: You Must Date
If you want to get married, you must date. Some women resist this concept. But in order to get married, you have to actually DATE! I had to literally come up out of the comfort zone of my basement and put myself out there. That’s not always easy. Opening myself up to strange guys saying to me, “So, tell me about yourself,” was almost enough to make me stay down under. (And please don’t say, “You should just Google me.” That’s arrogant.) I had made a very public declaration on Facebook. So I started accepting dates, though the dates didn’t exactly come flooding in. People often assume that strong, successful women are already committed or that they don’t want to be bothered. That’s why you have to share with everyone you know that you’re interested in getting married. And then when someone asks you out on a date – You. Must. Go. On the day I had my first dinner date with my husband to be, I’d also scheduled another potential husband for lunch. If you were doing a job search, you would go on every interview to which you were invited, wouldn’t you? Dating should be like that too. Plus, as with job interviews, practice makes perfect. Before the first date, ponder and be clear on your likes and dislikes. Yes, he is going to ask you! Be ready to be charming, witty, interesting and talk about yourself.

No. 5: Be a Girl
When you are 35 or older, you might be out of touch with your inner girl. Girls like to giggle. Girls like to have doors opened for them and surprised with presents and flowers. Girls like to dress up in feminine dresses and heels. Girls aren’t afraid to flirt. Girls stroke a man’s ego. They flatter him. Compliment him, and be gracious when he compliments you. Girls let the man lead. This might be the hardest advice for superwomen to wrap their heads around. But men are hunters. They are at their best when they are hunting. Let your man do that. He should call you more than you call him. He should plan the initial dates. He should pick you up. Girls like to be chased. So I want you to embrace being a girl and watch the magic happen. This wasn’t easy for me either. I run things at work, but I like it when the man I trust and respect take charge. When I was single, I liked flirting with men I was attracted to. Being stoic, prim and proper, tightly coiffed and uptight in your St. John knit suit isn’t going to make a man feel warm and fuzzy toward you. Ordering him around doesn’t work too well either. Let your kinder, gentler side run free for a change. Meet a man’s gaze when he glances at you rather than looking away as I once did. I learned to smile, bat my eyes, touch my hair, and do all the other flirty things that girls do when they want to send “I want you to chase me” signals. There can’t be two heads of one household. Your goal should be to find a man you trust, who is rooted enough in his faith and God’s word that you feel comfortable being vulnerable around him.

No. 6: Be Patient
Things will not always be done according to your schedule. There were many times I thought I was going to give up on dating my now husband because things weren’t happening according to MY timeline. Oooh, that drove me crazy. I had more than a girlfriend or two talk me off the ledge when I wanted to take over the reins and control things or throw in the towel altogether. But guess what? I practiced patience and today I am blissfully married!

LoveCheryl Grace