Today is Valentine’s Day...
Today is Valentine’s Day... a commercial holiday that tends to leave many single people feeling lonely, sad, etc.... Trust me, I’ve been there more times than I care to remember! Since my social media page is ALL about LOVE, personally—my favorite subject and author (Bell Hooks)... I’m addressing those, needing to be encouraged! Since I’m becoming a bit of a public figure, I’ve chosen to keep the relationship with my special guy, mostly private. However, with his permission I’m sharing these sentiments...
In a world where so many relationships are established out of lust, at a point, I started to believe that perhaps I had it wrong all of these years, for making a spiritual decision (and sacrifice) to lead with my heart first, instead of with my body.... Though I’ve had some interesting experiences and heart breaking goodbyes... I now realize that I was being mentally, physically and emotionally prepared for what was to come...
Just when I surrendered and said “I’m done”....
Like a butterfly spreading his wings, God revealed my guy and made us available (availability is the most important factor), to each other and longing to fly together... Finally, I am beginning to strengthen a greater bond with someone who has always sown into me! A man whose been my real friend—to quote him “Thank you. I appreciate you. I'm very grateful that you have been a constant in my life. I am excited for the future. I love you too”.... I’ve waited my entire life to sincerely hear this! I know some will wonder who he is? How does he look? Well, his face is irrelevant (he’s a boss and definitely holds his own in a room)!!!! The joy of this moment, yet the anticipation and excitement about our future together, is PRICELESS!!!!!
To those who are still single on such a spectacle of this day; Let me be the first to admit that I wasn’t fortunate to grow up with a model of what a good relationship was suppose to look like (I’m learning as I forge ahead)- my parents were not together! Raised by my mom who never married—I’ve struggled with guys for years supporting, being available to, misused by, and resourceful to men who did not deserve ME! The beauty is that I wouldn’t change any of the adversity or bought lessons that I’ve had to accept and overcome. Relationships are really like looking in a mirror- do you like or love what you see? It’s all subjective and a reflection of how we ultimately feel about ourselves. Admittedly, I was broken and not operating from a place of self confidence nor self love... If we don’t respect ourselves- our mates certainly won’t! If we don’t wholly love ourselves first, even if we are giving it—how will we ever recognize the love that someone is trying to give us back? Once I finally grasped that lesson- I changed my mind, I immediately stopped the insanity that had been evident in my choices and subsequently my life has now completely changed! Never give up on hope—I kept trying, knowing that I didn’t want to be in this crazy world alone! One of the most valuable things that I do today is communicate (not through text) exactly how I feel (good or bad) face to face. People will especially appreciate the bad too! I used to be afraid that if I didn’t appear “perfect” (which God knows I’m NOT) then I may run someone away. I’ve learned that full disclosure about anything actually brings 2 people closer!!!!
Again, if you’re single today, celebrate you! Keep LOVING yourself, keep putting your best foot forward while remaining open, patient, and optimistic! I prefer to say a “hopeful romantic”.... God is preparing JUST who you need and desire... Remember, ALL things in his time- not ours!!!
To my Valentine- (who has already read this) I’m taking this moment to publicly acknowledge and thank you baby! Like the lyrics in one of (our girl) Chaka Khan’s songs:
Endings don't apply
No broken hearts
No crying eyes
No emptiness for us
Just you and I
In love this time
To dream and
Though I’m not home today.... I will be!!!!! Your ride or die❤️👊🏾✌🏾
Happy Valentine’s Day❤️